Jose Garcia

ENG 2100

10/5/21

At first, I thought of the pandemic as a couple of weeks off from school. Without a strict weekly schedule, I began letting go of the rules and discipline I’ve worked hard at for years. Being stressed out since the school year started, my brain automatically sees the lockdown as time off. I worried about being able to accomplish my college supplements after being off from school for so long. My mind blanks out when I try to write, making the process long and stressful. I would much rather spend time sleeping in and avoid my problems. However, this is the summer before my senior year. My family expects me to succeed in college; the pressure forces me to look for change. Discovering dopamine fasting allowed me to take on challenging tasks like writing.

The day is July 30th, and I committed myself to a dopamine detox. I banned myself from using technology, socializing, and doing other tasks that gave me dopamine. This was my attempt to reform my relationship with writing. Within the first hour of my detox, I began fighting the urge to pick up my phone. “What if I’m missing something important?” the walls in my room began to echo. Technology was always the impulsive act that allowed me to run from my problems. No matter how positively I attempted to perceive this detox, all I could hear was “jail jail jail”. The isolation led to my mind becoming disoriented, not knowing how to respond to my pessimistic thoughts. My anxiety ran high; however, I knew these were just excuses made to break my long-term commitment. All I can see around my room is the pile of laundry I’ve been avoiding; mixed with the clutter of my school work and gym gear. The mess I allowed in my safe space reflects the mental stress I gained over the pandemic. Cleaning my room gave me mental clarity and motivation to continue reorganizing all types of clutter in my life.

Although I began accustoming myself to the isolation, my impulse to break my detox continued. All I started thinking about was how much time was left instead of living within the moment. In response, I decided to clear my mind by journaling my thoughts. Translating my emotions into words was stressful at first, but it enabled me to analyze myself. Writing down my feelings allowed me to reflect on the cause of my feelings. Bottling my emotions prevented me from achieving success. Writing enabled me to reach my catharsis and begin working towards self-improvement. I started noting how detrimental overusing technology led to my procrastination. My brain began to crave the stimulation online media gave me naturally. This made it difficult to work on my long-term goals. No longer being distracted by my temptation to procrastinate,  I  was determined to focus on my goals. 

Journaling my thoughts motivated me to work on my college supplements. I knew it was essential to self-reflect to create a well-written supplement. However, I always struggled with my identity because I was scared of the judgment of other people. I started by making a list of all the important characteristics in my life that have shaped me. Throughout my list, the characteristic that stood out the most was my heritage. The stereotypes I faced growing up negatively impacted my perception of my heritage. This caused me to separate myself from my culture in an attempt to avoid these beliefs. Being isolated from society allowed me to escape personal judgment. As a result, I was able to reflect on the importance of my heritage through writing. No longer suppressing my cultural beliefs, my self-expression and confidence in my writing increased. 

Writing allowed me to become lost in time, forgetting I was even completing a detox. This was my first writing experience where I felt completely free. Unaware of how much time has passed, I expressed my feelings about my culture for several pages. I was relieved to have been productive with my writing since it has always been a time-consuming task. Reflecting my personal story into my writing enabled me to learn about myself and helped me become more confident in my writing. Being distraction-free showed me how much  I could accomplish in my writing once I am entirely focused. 

The detox helped me rebuild my personal discipline and goals going forward. I began changing my daily schedule, limiting the amount of social media I could use. I also decided to dedicate time within my routine to continue working on my writing. After the detox, I continued to use writing to reflect on my emotions during challenging times. This prevents me from becoming overwhelmed and helps me to focus on solutions. Additionally, I began journaling my daily tasks to make sure they aligned with my long-term goals. Finishing the detox enabled me to experience total concentration while completing tasks. I reflect on this feeling today whenever I feel distracted while accomplishing challenging tasks like writing. 

If I never took the challenge of completing a dopamine fast, I would still be hiding from my personal problems. Mentally exhausted after the pandemic, journaling during my detox helped build a clear mind. Using writing to self-reflect enabled me to express feelings I usually suppress. I continue to use writing to help analyze myself during challenging moments. My writing experience during the dopamine detox has helped me build upon my time management skills. Without distractions, I learned how to make my writing experience more enjoyable. In return, I became more confident and creative in my writing. My self progression created by the detox motivates me to continually self-improve.